Friday, 25 July 2014

A story of a stalking

I have a lot of serious, scary decisions that I'm pondering this week. But I'm not going to talk about those here. Instead I want to write about a random memory that was triggered by a song today. Isn't it cool how a song can sometimes transport one back to a very specific time and place?

The song was Collective Soul's Shine. The place - IIT Madras. The time - early 00s, possibly '01 or '02. IITM's culfest (do people still use that contraction for cultural festival?), Saarang, was a yearly pilgrimage for me back in those days. I went mainly for the western music group competition, but also for the quizzes, JAM and general vibe. And I always went alone. That was somehow important for the experience. The couple of times I went with someone were the worst. Not sure why..

Anyway, so this one particular year, there was a very cute chap who was compering the western music competition. And I took it into my head to stalk him just because. I knew there was practically no chance of him being interested in me, and even if there was I was totally ruining it by being the creepy stalker type, but I wanted to amuse myself. That's usually why I do most things I do. For my own personal amusement. As long as I'm not harming someone else in any substantial manner, why not, I figure.

At first I was subtle about it. But as the day went on, I became bolder and more reckless. I was literally walking out of a room if he walked out, following him into the next one and glancing his way every few seconds. I was quite blatant about it. To the point where not only the guy in question but even his friends started noticing it.  I am pretty sure that at least once some of them pointed to me and whispered amongst themselves when I walked into an auditorium a few seconds after him. I must admit I rather enjoyed that.

But little did I know the guy in question was growing bolder too. Or maybe just impatient? Towards the end of the day, I had either lost sight of and/or interest in him and was standing by a notice board with the days competition results. Suddenly I became aware of someone who'd come up to my side and was also ostensibly looking at the notice board. At first I pretended not to notice, but no, he wasn't having any of that. He made loud remarks to his friend to attract everyone's attention. I got the distinct impression that he was giving me a chance to strike up a conversation.  I should have taken that chance. I didn't, of course. I never do.

His name, by the way, was Gaurav something or other iirc. Just putting that out there in case by some freakish chance, he or someone who knows/knew him reads this...

Because if you are, I want you to know that I am sorry.

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