A Belated Rant

I wrote this a little while ago (while I was on a plane iirc) and never got around to publishing it. 

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I've never been able to act my age. As a child I was too grown-up, too serious. My mom's main impression of me as a child is how I hardly ever laughed. I distinctly remember my uncle once asking me what I keep thinking about so intently. I think I was about 10 or 11 at the time.

As the years passed I started growing down, rather than up, as my best friend used to put it (with regards to herself not me). I can be quite silly these days. Be ridiculous and random and laugh, laugh and laugh. Not in public, mind. Just with a select few. But with those chosen few I can be positively nutty.

I'm writing all this now because right at this moment I feel quite the opposite of all that. I feel drained of all joy. For no reason in particular. Nothing bad has happened to me. Unless forced socialization over a fairly long period of time counts as a bad thing. I need to crawl back into my shell and lie low for a while. To recharge. Sadly I've put myself in a position where this isn't immediately possible.  I need to take a break. Alone.

Is solitude even possible in this bustling nation of mine? I'm actually on my way to another country atm on a short trip. Not alone though. Quite the opposite of alone. I'm part of a tour group. Ugh. Kill me now. 

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This turned out to be a self-fulfilling prophesy in some ways. In others...well, I'll publish the sequel, also written some time ago.. However, I'm quite determined that my first ever experience of a packaged tour shall remain my last as well.

My superpower, my bane

It has been brought to my attention, not for the first time and quite possibly not the last either, that my superpower bothers people. My superpower, you see, is faultfinding. I have an uncanny ability to spot mistakes. This, in itself, would probably not annoy anyone. But in my zeal to help straighten out someone else's work, I seem to step on toes instead. I become the busybody, the enemy, when what I'm actually trying to do and be is quite the opposite. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I only take pains to correct someone when I care. It is only when I have a certain amount of respect either for the person or the work in question that I bother to play the school mistress. In the majority of cases, I don't bother.

I would prefer to be corrected than to be left wrong. But apparently I'm in the minority in this. Most people, it would seem, take offense instead of being appreciative of someone trying to correct them. I guess they perceive it as a putting down of them. Their egos are hurt by what appears to be condescension when in fact it isn't at all. Is condescension, then, like beauty, in the eye of the beholder? Should I feel bad about having hurt someone inadvertently? Or am I allowed to feel hurt at having been misjudged? I feel a bit of both right now. I am both indignant and sad. I apologized to the person in question, but it wasn't a heartfelt apology. A part of me, a rather large part, felt like they were the one being rude. Why should I have to apologize for their touchiness? But such is the way of human social interactions. Sigh.

The irony here is that this person was bemoaning the lack of real honest interactions with their fellow denizens. Now thanks to their telling me off, there is going to be one less person who is straight with them. Can't have your cake and eat it too, bro. 

Taste

Taste, as they say, is subjective. So it's not terribly surprising to find that different people have different reactions to the same work of art. But still it shocked me to find that one piece of music got an overwhelmingly positive response among group of people and quite the opposite from another.

I'm talking about Nils Frahm's Says. I loved it on first listen. And so did quite a few others that I am very proud to have turned on to his music. But when, encouraged by this positive response on one forum, I shared the same song on another forum..ugh. "Boring", "Too long", "Too repetitive", "Strictly background music", "Is this even a song?"...

Listen to it and judge for yourselves. I think it's a beautiful song and one I can get lost in each time. But whatever you do, don't do what this one stupid person did and turn it off at the 4 minute mark.



P.S.: Gotta give a shout out to Taryn and Kelly over at Love Garden Sounds for introducing me to this wonderful music and many more. 

Warning: Acerbic Rant Ahead

I haven't posted in a while for a combination of reasons. Primarily because I haven't had the time. But also because I wasn't feeling like writing. Been in a curiously dissatisfied frame of mind. Made a bit of a bad social blunder that I think I was led on to because of impatience. Either way it made me feel terribly ashamed of myself and resolve to not bother trying to reach out to humans again. Until the next time anyway.

So the reason I didn't have time was because I went to a music fest. It was a bit of a let down tbh. The highlights were seeing Wolf Eyes, Shabazz Palaces and Gary Numan. The first two I was especially looking forward to, and while they did not disappoint in themselves, the venue left something to be desired. The sound wasn't the best, and a patio in the cold wasn't the ideal place on some rather chilly nights.

The Shabazz Palaces show was almost ruined by a couple of really annoying drunk chicks who drove me up the wall. These idiots somehow managed to get spots right at the front and instead of enjoying the music spent almost the entire time either chattering loudly and taking selfies or taking a video of the performance on their phone with the flash on the entire time. I came -this- close to grabbing their phones and smashing them on the ground. It was so very distracting. They had some nice lights and stuff set up on stage but all we got to see for a large chunk was the infuriating white light from their phones. Just thinking about it makes me want to @&*$^*&!#^^&!#%

I'm adding drunk self-absorbed people more interested in themselves than the show ruining it for everyone else to my list of most FSSR (Fist Shaking Saber Rattling) inducing things ever. It may even surpass people who cruise at or below the speed limit on the passing lane and make it to the top of the list. These are not "pet peeves", mind you. These are the things that make me shudder with extreme repulsion when new-agey people talk about how we're all one mind or whatever. I do not want to have anything to do with inconsiderate jerks like these on any level.

These two women were extreme cases but I came across many such during the course of this music fest. Why oh why do people go to a concert and spend their time there talking, nay yelling loudly over the music, to each other? Couldn't they go elsewhere where they can talk without being disturbed by music and without paying the price of admission? Sigh.

Some conversations

can be so draining. You know you're not really getting through to the other person but you try anyway. In the end, you walk away frustrated and they aren't feeling any better either. Wish I could avoid these situations. Usually I'm in too deep before I know what's up and then it's too late to back out. Ugh.

In other news, I spent a ton of money on music today. Have a sweet bunch of records headed my way soon. I should start doing the Vinyl Weekend thing again. I haven't been listening to my records as much as I should ever since I moved. Need to set up my gear properly. Soon.

Here's a list of what I bought today. All good stuff that is well worth checking out, mainly of an electronic/noise/drone/ambient music persuasion.

Dino Spiluttini & Nils Quak - Modular Anxiety

Safiyya - Shareek Hayaat

Fennesz Daniell Buck - Knoxville

Robert A.A. Lowe & Rose Lazar - Eclipses

3 Derek Rogers albums on bandcamp


Also, gave the new self-titled St. Vincent album a listen and quite liked it. I think I'll try and go see her show tomorrow after all.

Update: I took a photo of all that stuff I bought. Here it is.

Decisions

suck.

I'm trying to buy a TV and the choices out there have been driving me mad. I finally settled on a model and add it to my cart and the bloody retailer increased the price by a cool hundred and twenty bucks. >:(

Now it's back to looking at the other models again and picking another. So frustrating.

Here's some grindcore to celebrate my annoyance - one of the best covers (as in cover songs not the album cover) ever: