Sunday, 6 September 2015

A Belated Rant

I wrote this a little while ago (while I was on a plane iirc) and never got around to publishing it. 


I've never been able to act my age. As a child I was too grown-up, too serious. My mom's main impression of me as a child is how I hardly ever laughed. I distinctly remember my uncle once asking me what I keep thinking about so intently. I think I was about 10 or 11 at the time.

As the years passed I started growing down, rather than up, as my best friend used to put it (with regards to herself not me). I can be quite silly these days. Be ridiculous and random and laugh, laugh and laugh. Not in public, mind. Just with a select few. But with those chosen few I can be positively nutty.

I'm writing all this now because right at this moment I feel quite the opposite of all that. I feel drained of all joy. For no reason in particular. Nothing bad has happened to me. Unless forced socialization over a fairly long period of time counts as a bad thing. I need to crawl back into my shell and lie low for a while. To recharge. Sadly I've put myself in a position where this isn't immediately possible.  I need to take a break. Alone.

Is solitude even possible in this bustling nation of mine? I'm actually on my way to another country atm on a short trip. Not alone though. Quite the opposite of alone. I'm part of a tour group. Ugh. Kill me now. 


This turned out to be a self-fulfilling prophesy in some ways. In others...well, I'll publish the sequel, also written some time ago.. However, I'm quite determined that my first ever experience of a packaged tour shall remain my last as well.

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